Have you had someone tell you yet how many days there are until Christmas? Or have you seen a meme to that effect on social media? I have, and I never know whether to be excited, panicked, disgusted, or shocked by it! We seem to say this every year, but I cannot believe how this year has flown and that we are already well into our final term. On one hand, I love this time of year, the weather is amazing, everything seems lusher and fuller, even dressing the kids is easier-one set of clothes, shorts and T-shirts or a summer dress suffice. Ahead are lazy days beside the pool, picnics, meals outside. I truly love this time of year. It’s also a time to start planning towards next year for school. I have many books that need to be ordered from overseas and I have three school-aged children next year, so there are many more decisions to be made and schedules to attend to.
Before we get so busy looking ahead though, I am always so stirred to reflect on the year behind us. I feel that we do our best when we can take stock and make changes based on the information and the rhythms that a previous year dished up to us. I know for me that each school year looks different as our children age and change and need different things from us, from themselves and from their educational journey. No two school years for us have been the same, and I am to believe that none ever will be the same. Of course, we have rhythms that are the same, year on year, but the content, times, ways and means must by necessity bend to what is good for the whole family.
Pexels.com: John Diez
When I think about “reflection,” I am always so stirred by this scripture, in Joshua 4 vs 1-24:
When the whole nation had finished crossing the Jordan, the Lord said to Joshua, “Choose twelve men from among the people, one from each tribe, and tell them to take up twelve stones from the middle of the Jordan, from right where the priests are standing, and carry them over with you and put them down at the place where you stay tonight.”
So Joshua called together the twelve men he had appointed from the Israelites, one from each tribe, and said to them, “Go over before the ark of the Lord your God into the middle of the Jordan. Each of you is to take up a stone on his shoulder, according to the number of the tribes of the Israelites, to serve as a sign among you. In the future, when your children ask you, ‘What do these stones mean?’ tell them that the flow of the Jordan was cut off before the ark of the covenant of the Lord. When it crossed the Jordan, the waters of the Jordan were cut off. These stones are to be a memorial to the people of Israel forever.”
So the Israelites did as Joshua commanded them. They took twelve stones from the middle of the Jordan, according to the number of the tribes of the Israelites, as the Lord had told Joshua; and they carried them over with them to their camp, where they put them down. Joshua set up the twelve stones that had been in the middle of the Jordan at the spot where the priests who carried the ark of the covenant had stood. And they are there to this day.
Now the priests who carried the ark remained standing in the middle of the Jordan until everything the Lord had commanded Joshua was done by the people, just as Moses had directed Joshua. The people hurried over, and as soon as all of them had crossed, the ark of the Lord and the priests came to the other side while the people watched. The men of Reuben, Gad and the half-tribe of Manasseh crossed over, ready for battle, in front of the Israelites, as Moses had directed them. About forty thousand armed for battle crossed over before the Lord to the plains of Jericho for war.
That day the Lord exalted Joshua in the sight of all Israel; and they stood in awe of him all the days of his life, just as they had stood in awe of Moses.
Then the Lord said to Joshua, “Command the priests carrying the ark of the covenant law to come up out of the Jordan.” So Joshua commanded the priests, “Come up out of the Jordan.” And the priests came up out of the river carrying the ark of the covenant of the Lord. No sooner had they set their feet on the dry ground than the waters of the Jordan returned to their place and ran at flood stage as before.
On the tenth day of the first month the people went up from the Jordan and camped at Gilgal on the eastern border of Jericho. And Joshua set up at Gilgal the twelve stones they had taken out of the Jordan. He said to the Israelites, “In the future when your descendants ask their parents, ‘What do these stones mean?’ tell them, ‘Israel crossed the Jordan on dry ground.’ For the Lord your God dried up the Jordan before you until you had crossed over. The Lord your God did to the Jordan what he had done to the Red Sea when he dried it up before us until we had crossed over. He did this so that all the peoples of the earth might know that the hand of the Lord is powerful and so that you might always fear the Lord your God.”
I have always loved this story so much. I am a “Type A” personality and I often move from one task to the other, with another couple of tasks already brewing in my thoughts. I don’t think I am built by default to pause and pay attention and be grateful for the season behind me, and also to take stock for the season ahead. I know some of my mom friends are so good at doing this daily as they journal and reflect on what is happening. I think I just struggle to sit still for that long.
I have tried though, at this time of year to really look back and raise these “stones” in my own mind and heart, these landmarks of looking at what the Lord has done in and through us, as a family, in my own heart and life, in the lives of each one of my children, and in our marriage. I truly try to focus on, and to tell my children, so that they will be able to see and acknowledge the Lord’s power in our lives and the lives of those around us, so that they may always fear (respect and honour) Him.
Pexels.com: RK Kuva
This year, we have also been fortunate because as a group of homeschool moms, we planned a retreat together. This also helped in this “reflection” time. There is more on the Alveary Grove Forum where you could use some of our ideas to run your own retreat. We have in a previous year physically gone away, but this year, we just met in one another’s homes and focused on the Lord, ourselves, and our homeschooling. This year we met on Friday evening and the whole of Saturday. Last time, we focused on our homeschools and virtually attended lectures that helped us to “school better,” but this year, we focused on the moms. We spent time eating, praying, reading, exercising, reading poetry, sharing, and learning about ourselves and caring for each other.
It was truly such an incredible time, and I would thoroughly encourage you to draw a few women alongside you and book out some time to reflect together on what the Lord has done. They don’t even need to be homeschoolers. Invite some friends over, read some poetry, listen to some music, admire some art, and encourage each other to reflect on the goodness of Jesus to you over this year.
Photo: Adam Saiyad After exercise class with Maita at Retreat
A reminder that:
1) Jesus is always worthy of worship.
As I am busy writing this, I am thinking of some of your faces and how very difficult this year has been for you. You seem to have been faced with many, many difficult circumstances, and situations, and yet, Christ has been alongside you in all of that. He is still faithful and good and kind, even when our circumstances are hard. I pray that as you reflect on your year, that you will see His Hand and His presence in the circumstances that you have faced.
As I said before, I am always so quick to pass on to the next thing, but it is healthy for us to pause and remember that all we have is given from Him, and that we are incredibly privileged to be where we are, by His providence. Let us take this time of reflection to truly give thanks for all that He has done, all that He has been to us and all that He has given and provided for us, especially including our families.
2) Let’s thank Him for our wins.
I am sure as you look over the course of a year, there are so many things that you can celebrate. I know one person who has a jar which she starts at the beginning of the year and every day of the year, she puts a highlight a day in the jar, then at the end of the year, she celebrates and remembers all the great things that happened that year.
Something that I have learned as I have schooled, is that it is more about traveling in a certain direction or trajectory, than having a perfect day every day. I know as I look back that my children have been exposed to art, classical music, poetry, nature, maths, language arts and handicrafts, plus a lot more this year, even if they haven’t been as frequent or well planned as I would have liked. Are you able to stand back and look at what you have built this year, Mama? It is so easy to discount how hard you have worked, or to focus too much on what we didn’t get to, or to over-emphasise our own shortcomings. Can you see how your children have grown--academically, spiritually and in their relating to people and to their world? What are wins for you and your family? Celebrate that! Have you added a baby, and school has taken a backseat? Celebrate that addition to your family, and how you have all changed and grown in accommodating this new life. Did you start to homeschool and have seen growth in your kids? Did your child leave to pursue further education? Be proud Mama, you launched them! Let’s not be overly boastful, of course, we do it with the Lord’s help, but most moms that I know, never take the time to reflect on that which is going well, and to celebrate themselves and their children.
It is tough to be schooling and living in a way that can be so counter-cultural. If you also have a group of moms around you, feel free to call out their wins to them to. Sometimes we can see so clearly where a friend has grown or how well they are doing, let us call these out in one another.
3) Let’s thank Him for His faithfulness in our losses and learn from them.
We all have things that haven’t gone right, or that we feel could go better. As you plan for next year, see what can be changed, but also have grace for yourself. Sometimes there are circumstances that prevent us from making the changes that we would like. Be reminded again, Mama, that Jesus loves your child/ren more than you ever could and He is working on their futures and their personalities and characters far more than we can. Trust Him to use all circumstances and situations.
Please can I encourage you to view your losses, not as losses, but as challenges to be encountered. I pray that you would find the courage and strength in the Lord to tackle these areas in His strength, in all spheres, that the areas in which you feel overwhelmed and like you are sinking will, in time, be areas of strength for you. Remember that there is no time frame, every small habit changed is a win, every step in the correct direction is a win.
So often I find that I do myself a disservice because I have an idea in my mind of how and when something should be achieved. May I encourage all of us to walk more in step with the Spirit and allow Him to guide us, in His time, into making the changes necessary for ourselves, our families and our schools.
We need to remember more than all, that He has paid it all, and that we don’t need to strive for anything, least of all His love and approval. May you find freedom today, Mama--we aim to do better every day, but we are released from guilt and burden because the Perfect, Spotless Lamb of God has paid for that all for us. May you walk into all He has for you, and may you know His pleasure as you set your heart and eyes on Him and endeavour to do your best to love your family and to serve them like Him.
High Tea at Retreat
For more information on how to set up a retreat or for some extra Mother Culture sheets on Reflection, please sign up and visit 'The Hive' which is Alveary Grove's Forum. It is free and is a place where we can connect and interact as moms in Southern Africa.
Love this, Robs.
So timely friend, thank you for all of this.