Mother Culture January: Pattern and Pace

So, another year begins. Although this doesn’t really mean anything, as we can start new habits at any time of the year, it always feel like a blank slate to start with, a new page to fill-in. As Angeligue so beautifully and excellently shared in the Alveary Grove newsletter recently, we are the product of our habits, and we would all be wise to assess our habits as we head into a new year, as they affect so much of who we are, how we proceed in the world and the impact that we have in it.

Over December, I spent quite a lot of time listening to the “Practicing the Way” podcast by John Mark Comer. He postulates that our best version of life is to keep in Step with Jesus as we go about our daily lives. His book “The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry” challenges the reader to slow down and to focus on the important things in life. When we choose speed, overwhelm and busy, we often forfeit true relationship and connection and our physical, mental, and emotional lives suffer.

As I have been considering these things for this year, I have realized that making some very minor changes can have a big impact and I am endeavoring to make some changes that will last into eternity, both in my life, in our marriage, in my children’s lives and into our community at large. I have been contemplating the pattern and pace of our lives.

Rest (The Disciple)

(The Saviour of the World, Vol II Book II Poem XXVI)

Peace and good will! glory and peace! sweet peace!

A grateful cadence falls on quiet soul

As liquid plash of oar on waters cool:

And life’s long straining and endeavour cease;

From turbulent desire comes release;

And restless thought is under perfect rule,

Sitting, meek scholar, in the Master’s school,

In hope that to the meek shall scope increase:—

HE shall not strive nor cry, nor in the street,

For any due of His, shall lift His voice;—

But One among the sons of men is meet

For the mild glory of this praise:

Rejoice, When cries are hush’d in thee, strife at an end,—

The King holds court within—My soul, attend!

Isaiah xlii. 2

Charlotte Mason

Whenever I contemplate Jesus’ time on earth, I am struck by the fact that He was so “in-demand”, he was pulled from pillar to post, interrupted constantly (does any of this sound familiar, Mama?), and yet, He was never frazzled and always knew the will of His Father for any circumstance that He faced. As I read Miss Mason’s poem above, I long for that cool water, that peace to attend my soul, and we do have access to it through Him, no matter how busy our days are.

Pexels.com Jennifer Murray

As I have long pondered this, and believe I will continue to do so, I can see that there are a couple of things that we can learn and implement in Jesus’ pattern for ourselves:

1)      Time with the Father

As we see in Jesus’ life, He never does anything that hasn’t come out of deep times in prayer with His Father. The only way we can set our affections right, and order our days and ways correctly, is if we allow the Lord to capture our wayward hearts and set our hearts to be ordered as His is. He teaches us what to value and what to lay importance on, and what to leave and reject. Our “best life” will come from a heart surrendered to Him and open to His correcting and helping us to order our lives according to His priorities and convictions in our lives. We must be making time to spend time in the Word and with Him in prayer this year. It is the only way. He is our life source, our joy, our rest, and our great reward. In Him, we find all good things and rest for our souls . . . in every day.

2)      Spiritual Disciplines

Although Jesus is the only one who saves us, I am seeing more and more that spiritual disciplines, or spiritual habits, are very, very helpful to us as Christians. We are finite creatures, and God created us in that way. Our humanness and our limitations remind us that we are not God, only He is God, and that we need to rely on Him, and not on ourselves and our own strength and understanding. Spiritual disciplines such as Sabbath rest, fasting and solitude, among others, remind us to trust the Lord, to rest in Him and to acknowledge that we are not Him. More and more in this busy, chaotic, frantic world, we need to be seeking these times and creating patterns for them in our lives. This may be a small change, skipping breakfast and lunch every Monday to seek His face and pray, or taking a day in the week when you as a family intentionally slow down and rest, focusing on Him (if you can’t do a whole day at the moment, can you do an evening or a morning?) or taking a day once a quarter to be alone and seek Him?

 If you are like me, sometimes I am overwhelmed by getting it “just right” and so then I don’t start at all, but I feel as if these disciplines are good for us, no matter how small. They are worth pursuing even in tiny increments, as I am sure that we will see the benefits to introducing them and be encouraged to add more time and more focus to them, as we are diligent in them.

Pexels.com Tirachard Kumtanom

3)      Just say “No”

Full confession: This is not an easy task! It is the area I struggle most in. There are so many things which call for our time and attention, and many good things too. It’s often so difficult to know how best to use our time, and to cover all the bases, and love all the people. It is why our time with the Lord is so vital. He orders our steps. We are not superheroes, ladies, we need space, time, reflection. A machine needs to be recalibrated and serviced from time to time, and we are far more valuable and intricate than any machine. We need to take control of our calendars and schedules, for the good of ourselves and our families. We cannot be at everything and do everything, no matter how good those things are. My husband often reminds me that a “yes” to something means a “no” to something else. We need to be wise and sober as we make these decisions. Again, thinking of Angelique’s blog post, “habits reap a life” and we will never become who we want to be, unless we start filling our calendars with those pursuits and weeding out the activities that don’t serve that.

4)      Rest is Vital

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11 vs 28-30

We need to rest, ladies. We cannot just keep going and going. Can I encourage us all to endeavour to find a weekly space in which you can focus on the Lord and intentionally slow down. God gives us this pattern at creation and encourages us to follow it. It is not a good suggestion, but a pattern of living which sustains and keeps us. Even if the thought of a whole 24 hours is too stressful to consider at present, then please consider even a mealtime where rest is the focus. We need to be ordering our worlds to enable us to rest . . . are there easier meals to prepare, chores to be scheduled somewhere else in the week, extra-murals to be changed, to provide you this space. As mentioned above, this shows our dependence on God and our trust in Him, so that we are not leaning on our own strength and wisdom. It is vital that we order our private worlds in the ways that He has taught us. He is our creator and knows us best. We do not buy an appliance and use it in whatever way suits us but read the manual and follow the instructions. We need to be using the same care to pattern our lives off Jesus’ life. He knows our weaknesses and helps us to endure and flourish.

Another vital component that I will add here, as Miss Mason continues to encourage all of us, is to read “worthy books.” These ideas feed our lives and require a discipline. I know that it is easy when I am tired from the rigours of homeschooling and housekeeping, to aimlessly scroll on my phone, but I have seen over and over again, that when I delve into good literature, no matter how slow my pace, my mind and heart are awakened, and I feel so much more rested than taking half an hour on my phone.

Pexels.com 21967

I am praying for all of us this year, that we will know deep fellowship with the Father this year, that we will feast at His table and that we will find our rest and provision in Him. May He lead you beside cool waters, as you seek Him in all that you do, and give us wisdom to make the decisions that will bring health, courage, peace, and joy to our own lives, to our families and to our communities. May 2024 be a wonderful year for us all.

Psalm 23

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures.

He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul.

He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake.

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,    

 I will fear no evil, for you are with me;

your rod and your staff, they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me   

 in the presence of my enemies; you anoint my head with oil;    

my cup overflows. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me    

all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

Further Reading and Mother Culture Ideas from our AG Team

Lazy Genius Way by Kendra Adachi

Seeking God: The Way of St. Benedict by Esther de Waal

Liturgy of the Ordinary by Tish Harrison Warren

Celebration of Discipline by Richard Foster

Beyond Mere Motherhood by Cindy Rollins

Habits of the Household by Justin Whitmel Earley

Teaching from Rest by Sarah Mackenzie

Disciplines of a Godly Woman by Barbara Kent Hughes

The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry by John Mark Comer

Classical Music Pieces for Rest

Satie – Gymnopédie No.1

Holst – Venus the Bringer of Peace (The Planets)

Chopin – Nocturne No.2, Op.9

Ravel – Piano Concerto in G major (2nd movement)

Beethoven – Moonlight Sonata (first movement)

Bill Evans – Peace Piece

J.S. Bach – Prelude No.1

Massenet – Meditation (Thaïs)

Debussy – Rêverie

Mozart – Concerto for Flute and Harp (2nd movement)

Classical Art Pieces

Noon - Rest from Work (after Millet), 1890 by Vincent Van Gogh

Rest on the Grass, 1904 ISHII, Hakute

Young Girl Reading, 1769 Jean Honoré Fragonard

At Rest Paul Gbolade Omidiran