“To bring the human race, family by family, child by child, out of the savage and inhuman desolation where He is not, into the light and warmth and comfort of the presence of God, is, no doubt, the chief thing we have to do in the world.” Charlotte Mason
Parenting is the best and worst thing I have ever done! Haha! On the one hand, it has truly been the very best thing, the thing I am most proud of, the thing that I am so thrilled that I have used my life to build. However, it has been the single most challenging, most redeeming, and sanctifying journey I have ever been on. I think the thing that I didn’t foresee about parenting was how much it would change me. When you have a baby, you expect that you will pour yourself into your child, and mould them into a “good person, with good morals.” However, the Lord has used parenting to mould and shape me. There is so much selfishness in me, so much frustration, impatience, unkindness and so on . . . so very much that looks nothing like Christ. More than His leading and teaching my children (and He continues to do this), He has had to refine me!
As I type this, I am also acutely aware that mothers can be a group that are the hardest on themselves. None of us need more information on how much we are not getting to, or how much we aren’t achieving. I don’t know a mom who doesn’t know her own shortcomings acutely. My prayer is that this blog will be an encouragement to you and that you will be boosted for the year ahead of you.
I was listening to a Risen Motherhood podcast this week, between Amy Gannett and Emily Jensen (Abundance 05: In your weakness, look to Christ). Amy was reminding us that we are not sufficient to the task that we have been called to. She read from 1 Corinthians 3 vs 4-6:
Such is the confidence that we have through Christ toward God. Not that we are sufficient in ourselves to claim anything as coming from us, but our sufficiency is from God, who has made us sufficient to be ministers of a new covenant, not of the letter but of the Spirit. For the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life.
Did you catch that? Not that we are sufficient . . . but our sufficiency is from God. Oh man, I need to hear that, day in and day out, again and again. I forget this so quickly!
Leading on from this, the Lord reminded me of the story of the widow in need from 2 Kings 4 vs 1-7:
The wife of a man from the company of the prophets cried out to Elisha, “Your servant my husband is dead, and you know that he revered the Lord. But now his creditor is coming to take my two boys as his slaves.” Elisha replied to her, “How can I help you? Tell me, what do you have in your house?” “Your servant has nothing there at all,” she said, “except a small jar of olive oil.” Elisha said, “Go around and ask all your neighbours for empty jars. Don’t ask for just a few. Then go inside and shut the door behind you and your sons. Pour oil into all the jars, and as each is filled, put it to one side.” She left him and shut the door behind her and her sons. They brought the jars to her and she kept pouring. When all the jars were full, she said to her son, “Bring me another one.” he replied, “There is not a jar left.” Then the oil stopped flowing. She went and told the man of God, and he said, “Go, sell the oil and pay your debts. You and your sons can live on what is left.”
And also from Exodus 16 vs 4-8:
Then the Lord said to Moses, “I will rain down bread from heaven for you. The people are to go out each day and gather enough for that day. In this way I will test them and see whether they will follow my instructions. On the sixth day they are to prepare what they bring in, and that is to be twice as much as they gather on the other days.” So Moses and Aaron said to all the Israelites, “In the evening you will know that it was the Lord who brought you out of Egypt, and in the morning you will see the glory of the Lord, because he has heard your grumbling against him. Who are we, that you should grumble against us?” Moses also said, “You will know that it was the Lord when he gives you meat to eat in the evening and all the bread you want in the morning, because he has heard your grumbling against him. Who are we? You are not grumbling against us, but against the Lord.”
In both of these stories, we see the supremacy of God over all things, we see His provision on a daily basis, and we see involvement in the lives of His people. As I parent, I need to be reminded of all three.
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1) He is supreme over all things.
Even as I give my best to my family, ultimately, He is supreme over all things that affect us. He is sovereign over it all and will see us through it all, the good and the bad. He uses the circumstances of life to lead us closer to Him, to become more like Him, to lead others (including our children) to Him and to show others the glory of God, no matter our circumstances. We need to remember this as we deal with the weight of parenting. He is ultimately in control of our futures and our children’s futures. The best thing that we can do is fix our eyes on Him and continue to seek His provision, protection, and leading over our children.
2) He provides for us daily.
In both Bible stories, we see the loving care of our Heavenly Father, to not only care for our dire spiritual need, but also for our very real physical needs daily. I often remind our children, “We may not have all we want, but we have all we need!” and I am very aware that this is by the provision of our good Father. He provides for us because He cares for and loves us. He knows what we need, often even more than we know what we need, and His provision is there for us daily.
One of my favourite verses that I have had to remind myself of, while homeschooling has been Lamentations 3:22-23: “The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases, his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is thy faithfulness.” I am always so grateful to be able to come to Him, in His steadfast love, every day, and find mercy from Him for where I am, and for what I face. New mercies, new provision, His overflowing oil . . . for every day.
Even more importantly, we must never lose sight of the fact that He has made every effort to restore us to relationship with Him. No matter our physical circumstances, He has made it possible for us to be in relationship with Him every day. We can “approach His throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.” (Hebrews 4:16)
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3) He is intimately involved in our lives.
He doesn’t stand far off and watch us struggle and strive. He is with us. What we always must remember as we parent, is that He is our Father, first. Even as we seek to raise our children in Him and to know Him, He is our parent as much as He is their parent. He is leading them as much as He is leading us. We need to keep our hearts and minds open to His directing, encouragement, and discipline. He will sustain us through it all, but we can’t distance ourselves from Him as we maneuver around life’s twists and turns.
Ultimately, we cannot be assured of an easy life, or one without suffering--in fact, the Christian life seems to be the opposite, but what we can be assured of, as we live and parent, is that we have full access to our Heavenly Father at any moment. We have full access to all that He is; His kindness, goodness, wisdom, love, steadfastness, and hope among many other things.
We cannot hope to parent well, if we are not accessing these attributes for ourselves and allowing ourselves to be parented by Him well too. I am again reminded that the Lord helps us to shoulder the “weight” of parenting and He is an overflowing spring that we can access at any time for help, sustenance, and refreshment. My prayer is that you will find sweet communion with your own children, as you delve further into your relationship with Him.
I encourage you to use these Mother Culture Sheets in 'The Hive' (Alveary Grove's Forum) as you focus on your parenting and take some time to rest, contemplate and restore. I hope you enjoy the selections!
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