Usually, the sun is shining in my world. My disposition declares that even if it’s overcast here, the sun is burning bright above the clouds. I wake up each morning with a song in my heart and purpose in my veins and I am driven to think and speak positively, even when the evidence is not agreeing with me. Some people are just like this – we live on a (mostly) constant high. Recently, however, a storm began to brew and the sun seemed to lose all it’s optimistic impact on me. I took a proper dive. A combination of circumstances and unidentified factors mixed together and the pressure differences were ideal for a big one. Anxiety, panic, overwhelm, helplessness, grief, disappointment, sorrow and despair swirled around me and raged through me until I felt like I was in some kind of a wakeful nightmare.
The ones who caught wind of it came right into the heart of it wearing their metaphorical wet suits, goggles and swimming caps, their umbrellas tucked up under their arms. I didn’t ask them to, they just came. Have you ever noticed how, sometimes, when you need help the most, you wrap yourself up into a cocoon and close your eyes and try to make things as dark and remote as possible so that the pain might cease? But a good friend comes barging in and pulls back an eyelid and says “Aaah, there you are! I knew I’d find you here.” One came to sit on my bed next to me like she hasn’t got a single responsibility and has all the time in the world, which is not the case. Another one breezed in with food and sweets and put a bowl of blueberries in front of me that would have fed both our families, but they were all mine if I wanted them. That same one invited us for tea and dinner sometime later. She knew all about my heavy heart and we might well have just wept together but she put flowers and fairy lights all over the table and said, “It seemed like we should have a celebratory atmosphere rather.” And then just like every other tea date does not go, I lay on the couch reading and closing my eyes whenever I wished, the dinner cooked itself, the children watched a movie and my friend played the piano and sang whilst my son strummed the guitar. A song to pierce and silence the bloody storm.
Another friend brought an unexpected meal around soon after. We like to feed one another around here, can you tell? She not only fed us abundantly, but she thought of every topping and side dish and slipped a huge bar of chocolate in too. I said to her, “If food could raise the dead, this meal would have done it.” Friends messaged and poured their love out and one delivered chai lattes. One friend, who was in Slovenia at the time, went off to visit a church on the middle of an island in the middle of a lake. When she arrived at that place of worship and she had the opportunity to ring the bell she did so for me. She jumped high and caught onto the thick rope in front of the altar and she pulled with all her might. She said she had a million thoughts in a split second and was overcome with emotion as the bells rang out. “Whatever happens, the heavens shook,” she assured me. I marvelled that such an act of love and faith was carried out for me when I might have been out of sight and out of mind.
I want to recognise and honour my friends today. My family are outstanding too, but that’s a story for another time. I have scraped the surface with a few examples of the kindnesses shown to me over one brief period, but I have a lifetime of friendships to celebrate and far too many stories of large-heartedness, humour, loyalty and courage to share. I must have been standing in the queue called ‘Rich in Friendship’ when friends were granted because I have never been alone in my life, even if I have wanted to be. Wherever I move, they are there – solid, golden, true – they find me and I find them. When I went to university I was completely out of my depth and wanted to go home and a kind girl scooped us new ones up under her wings and showed us where to go and what to do. I remember heading into an auditorium in the first week and a guy in a bright shirt with a huge smile on his face bounded up the stairs and waved and greeted us all as he hurried by. It was that simple. New friend. Cartwheeling, mischief making, unreligious, little-bit-wild friend.
Some friendships take time and we slowly settle into a rhythm of mutual respect and adoration, eventually admitting we are firmly attached and do not want to live without one another. Some, there is instant recognition and the bonds grow rapidly and strengthen consistently over the years – we work at it for years but we know we are meant for one another right at the start. Others began in childhood and those are special because no matter how miserable we are at keeping in touch, when we see one another face to face and catch that old familiar spark in the eye, we can pick up right where we left off. The other day I took a photograph of my dad and his childhood buddy in a parking lot. They had spotted one another and, sixty years later, they stood there like two boys with toads in their pockets, arms around one another and looking like they might think up a prank to play on someone if they spent any longer together. Arms around shoulders is such a symbol of solidarity. Like one friend linking her bent elbow through my limp arm and walking beside me for a while so that my shoulders might straighten and my arm might bend too, to link hers back.
I have always held tenderness in high regard. I believe it unlocks impossible doors, clears skies so that rainbows appear and coaxes seeds to sprout when the storm has run its course. Some things do not need lots of energy or brute force to repair. A dose of tender-loving care here and there and Love Himself makes sure of the complete restoration.
A storm roared through and the roof lifted right off in a section, I have to be honest. I learnt long ago about strong foundations and just as well I took the advice because in my land of eternal sunshine I might have believed there would never be bad weather and I may have taken some short cuts. The foundation is solid, the structure is just fine and with every kind act those friends nailed the roofing back down for me and continue to help me sort out the water damage and hang up all the damp carpets. Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labour: if either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken. (Ecclesiastes 4 v 9-12) Sweet friendship! Let’s work at it and be good at it and view it with the high value it deserves. It’s clear to me now that it prevents many a proper shipwreck. What an undeserved gift, what a priceless institution.
Isaiah 54 v 11-15
Afflicted city, lashed by storms and not comforted, I will rebuild you with stones of turquoise, your foundations with lapis lazuli. I will make your battlements of rubies, your gates of sparkling jewels, and all your walls of precious stones. All your children will be taught by the Lord, and great will be their peace. In righteousness you will be established: tyranny will be far from you; you will have nothing to fear. Terror will be far removed; it will not come near you. If anyone does attack you, it will not be my doing; whoever attacks you will surrender to you.
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